


No Regrets, No Apologies

by saharasnow



Category: Final Fantasy X
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-24
Updated: 2006-06-24
Packaged: 2017-10-21 12:07:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/225001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saharasnow/pseuds/saharasnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yuna asks Lulu the truth about her and Auron. (Spoilers for ending)</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Regrets, No Apologies

The first time Yuna got this feeling of great hesitation, was the day she decided to announce her decision of becoming a Summoner to her surrogate sister. She rolled her fingers into a fist and placed it at her lips, a sign of insecure and indecisiveness, as she stood outside the hut of the black mage.

 _Ask, not ask, ask, not ask_....

She stretched out her hand and tried to knock on the door, but retreated at the very last moment as her mind thought up new excuses to not alert Lulu at this time. Hesitation and more hesitation, she walked around in small circles.

A sound of creaking almost made her jumped as she turned around and saw Lulu standing right in front of her hut, looking puzzled at the young summoner who looked like she just stole a cookie from her mother.

"Yuna, it is late."

"Are you... free to talk now? Lulu?" She blurted out, without much thinking. The phrases and questions she had rehearsed in her mind earlier seemed to have flew to the other side of the Farplane when Lulu startled her with her prescence.

Lulu thought for a while, maybe she needed someone to talk to about Tidus, and Wakka was certainly not the ideal choice now that Rikku had left Besaid with her father to gather up the Al Bheds over Spira. She nodded and walked out of her door, holding onto Yuna's hand gently and lead her to walk towards the direction to the beach. It would be quiet enough there with absolutely no disturbance, though she was positive Wakka was too busy snoring in his bed by this time to possibly interrupt their conversation.

Yuna closed her eyes, reassuring herself within as she followed quietly behind the black mage through the hanging bridge.

She lifted her head and looked up to the night sky, the sky that she thought she would never ever see again when she started the prilgrimage. She was so relieved that she was still alive and well to be able to be surrounded by the beautiful stars once again. Sacrifices had to be made, prices must be paid. Nothing comes for free, she knew it deep within her though she was harboring the hope that it could have been better.

The strong sea breeze blew into Yuna's face as they approached the beach. Inhaling the fresh salty smell of the sea, Yuna felt... so alive. She quickened her pace a little to catch up with Lulu who had just settled herself onto the white sandy ground, with her long dress sewn with floral laces spaced out gracefully around her. She motioned for the young lady to sit beside her with a light pat on the sand.

"What is troubling you?" A redundant question, but it helped to start the conversation.

Yuna curled her arms around herself, looking away from Lulu and into the far horizon. She bit lightly on her lips and decided to go with it.

"Sometimes when I Send, I can actually feel and see the last thoughts of the deceased if he or she is very strong in mind or have a strong attachment to something...."

Lulu's lips parted as she answered back with the acknowledgement that she had her attention.

"Lulu, were you and Sir Auron......?"

Yuna didn't need to finish the question, Lulu somehow had felt this coming sooner or later, though she never thought it would be so soon. She didn't answer her this time, and no helping her to finish that question that she had possibly hoped that Lulu would finish it for her, as a form of confirmation to the doubt in her mind. However, the black mage wasn't being very helpful and spontaneous, Yuna hesitated if she should continue this conversation.

She gripped tightly onto her fists as she turned her full attention to the older woman, "When Sir Auron was vanishing.... I... I felt his thought. I saw a vision which was supposed to be from deep within his soul."

It was said that on the brink of death, people would see their lives flashed before their very eyes, some would be reminded of the places they missed.

"Lulu, Sir Auron's last thought and vision that appeared to me, was your face."

Looking as indifferent as ever, Yuna couldn't tell if there were any bits of emotions stiring within her. She had tried to look into the black mage as much as she had looked into hers, but Lulu was too good at hiding and she had never let her crossed past the boundary she had set for others and herself. Tonight was no exception.

She remembered that very day after Auron had said his last words and disappeared before their very eyes, the same strong rush of feelings flooded over her as a bright flash of light blinded her. When the light faded away, she knew she would be seeing the last vision and memory of the legendary guardian. She felt tears gathered as she saw the faint shadow of Lulu's side profile.

It was one of the longest moment in her life. Suddenly everything started to make sense to the young summoner, as she remembered the time when she started noticing them standing and walking close to each other, the time when they realized they don't seemed to remember Auron checking into the rooms and he would appear along the corridors near Lulu's room the next morning.

She had suppressed everything ever since the day Sin fallen. Now she felt that this matter had somewhat triggered all the tears that she had kept to the back as she felt them threatening to burst out of her eyes, and her vision was starting to blur.

"I'm sorry.... Lulu," She lowered her head and let her hair fell over her face, hoping it would shield her from any glance from her beloved friend she would call a sister.

A pair of cold hands wrapped around her and pulled her closer into her embrace. Lulu patted Yuna's shoulders gently, making a silent hush that always serves as one of the most comforting sound Yuna had loved since she was young.

"You have done nothing wrong, Yuna,"

"But... I sent him. And he was... gone, away from you," She found her lips trembling as she used her strength to muttered out the words.

"That was what he had wished for, and rest was exactly what he deserved. Don't feel guilty," Her voice so deep and comforting, smoothing the emotions and guilt of the young summoner.

But what about you?

Yuna buried herself into Lulu, her hands grabbing tight onto her sleeves, whispering numerous thank yous and sorries.

"He was not completely gone."

"He left you something?" Yuna looked up to her, full of hope that perhaps there was something in compensation to the loss.

The warmth of his hands, the brushing of his lips so gently on hers, the musky scent on his red robe, the voice that had called her name.....

 _Anything, anything will do, no matter how tiny it was_.

Yuna kept praying.

Something, at least leave something behind for her...

Rubbing gently on the tiny shoulders that once carried the weight of the whole of Spira, her words so full of memories and warm.

"He left me a beautiful dream."


End file.
